Unlocking My Warrior: A Journey Through Fire in the Mountains of China

I am emerging from a two-month period in the Kunyu mountains in China, practicing traditional Shaolin martial arts on a daily basis. Before leaving, a few people who had trained there told me to expect significant hardship for both body and mind. Both of them were professional athletes, which gave their warning weight.

It came at a counter-intuitive moment in my life. I had just proposed to the woman of my life, and after three years of a nomadic lifestyle together, the idea of settling and building a home felt natural.

Yet I sensed that while Lila was meant to spend two months with our yogic master in India, the next phase of my own transformation was waiting for me in the mountains of China.

The choice to stop everything for a moment, once again, and step into this portal of transformation was fueled by a strong sense of purpose. It required me to face several of my fears, and I saw this time as a rite of passage: a crossing from the boy I had been into the man I am becoming.

Over the past years, I had begun to be increasingly honest with myself, raising the standards of how I want to live and observing with precision where my actions did not fully match my words, or where my awareness still missed its blind spots. In essence, where I was not yet embodying what I believed in.

Through this process, I became aware of the parts of me still holding onto the boy, resisting the transition into a man. A man who is aware of his energy and where it flows. A man who makes clear decisions. A man ready for providership, protectorship, and fatherhood. Crossing the fear of commitment had been a major milestone a few months earlier; the fruit of significant inner work. This time, I was being asked to meet and strengthen the warrior in me.

Having grown up in a supportive and loving environment, I never had to fight in my early years. This allowed my nervous system to develop in a healthy way, giving me a sense of safety in the world. But it also meant I never needed to activate the warrior in me: the part that holds ground, speaks up, defends, protects. The part that does not fear pain. The part that faces threat eye to eye. The part that stands with relentless courage.

It was with the intention of unlocking this archetype that I chose to spend two months in China training with the Shaolin. It was this intention that kept me going whenever my mind tried to convince me to stop. When my legs were burning in horse stance. When I crawled hundreds of stairs down after running them up, my heart racing, sweat dripping from my forehead. When my knuckles split from hitting a tree thousands of times, or when I stood still to receive kicks that conditioned my legs to withstand pain.

I discovered the blissful and rewarding field that lies behind the burning fire of pain; a space where I can experience my real strength. Crossing that threshold again and again demanded resistance to pain, high focus, and determination. But there is nothing like the confidence that comes from reaching the other side. Nothing like the stability it builds inside.

And each time I crossed the fire, especially when my mind was screaming that I wouldn’t make it, it became more clear that these limits are not the truth. So much more is possible than I believed.

Whether it was holding a plank one breath longer while my abs were burning; breaking a brick that looked so solid; stretching a millimeter further when it felt like my legs would snap; sprinting the last hundred meters when my heart was hammering my chest; landing my first front flip after endless attempts; or stepping out of the kickboxing ring for the first time gasping for breath; every time I reached the other side, I expanded my realm of possibilities.

As my relationship with my body shifted, and my sense of what it was capable of expanded, I could feel the transformation spilling into the rest of my life. Words I had encountered many times before felt more true than ever: You can do anything. You can be anything.

While I have a long way to go before the warrior in me reaches full maturity, I have undeniably felt his power. My time with the Shaolin opened a door to a part of me that had been lying dormant, and I feel more alive simply sensing the journey ahead of strengthening this newly discovered warrior within me.

I feel immensely grateful for the masters who guided, challenged, and pushed me; for the peers who inspired me to give my best every day; and for those who brought joy, laughter, and soul to the entire experience.